Grieving Through Exercise Part one


“The death of a beloved is an amputation.” — C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

As some of you may know, 2015 was a devastating year for me. On August 21st, I lost my husband to unforeseen circumstances. He was my love, best friend, lover and protector. He was 44. The thought of life without him was unimaginable. Thank God for family and friends, who continue to help me though the dark times.

As the days went on after his funeral, I felt numb. Scared. Angry. Hopeless. And I lacked any kind of motivation to do anything. My mother, who lives 1,600 miles away, stayed with me for a while after the funeral, but then she had to head back home.

As I sat in my house and felt the emptiness in my heart, I knew I had to find a routine. If it hadn’t been for my three Corgies, I would’ve assuredly been curled up in a ball at the corner of my living room. But it was suddenly my sole responsibility to take care of them. We didn’t have children — they were our children, and now they’re my children.

So I started to plan a routine: Wake up, let dogs out, feed dogs, get dressed, leave for work. Weeks went by with that routine in place, but it still felt like it wasn’t enough. As most of you know, fitness is my profession, but during the time when my husband was sick and then passed away, I didn’t even think to workout. The thought of running, walking, lifting, stretching — all of it made me less motivated. .

One Saturday morning, as I once again burrowed into the couch, drinking coffee and watching the news, something just hit me…it’s time to go out for a walk/jog. A “wog,” as one of my fitness friends calls it.

I started out slowly, and then, as I warmed up, I started feeling better. When I got home, I had that euphoric feeling of accomplishment — happy and proud of myself.

That’s when it hit me that two things needed to happen, to help mend my shattered heart. One was exercise. The other was to start exploring the ways in which exercise and grief go together.

Welcome to my new blog. …

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